Crystal Walls

Crystal Walls
I wear a mask
and build walls because
of the pain I bear. Some
walls you can see
through, some are as thick as
the night. It is the
Crystal Walls reflect
the daily burden of
blood sizzling pain. I
warn you do not gaze
to long through the
Crystal Wall or you will
find yourself flabbergasted at
how we survive each day.
The Crystal Wall does
not lie, it shows the
truth, we may wear the
Mask to hide our
reaction to the life
stealing pain, but the
Crystal Wall is ever showing.

Virtuous Patience

Virtuous Patience
Angel’s, Saint’s, Mother’s and
Some say I have it…
Patience. I’m just an
Ambivert existing in an
Extrovert universe. O, virtuous
Patience why are you
Strenuous to fully reap?
With all the noise and
nuisances of this world…O
Virtuous Patience please find
Me! Patience is often at war
with anxiety and gratification.
Inhale the incense, listen
to the wind chime, the waves
upon the ocean and ultimately the
quiet for therein lies quietly
Virtuous Patience.

Gift or Prison

Gift or Prison?
High in the hills lies
A lonely mountain. In that
Mountain a bereft cave be.
It signs its song “Come and
Find yourself! Be at one with
The world!” Solitude it
shouts as its offering! Solitude
and Sanctuary. Alas, be ye
Warned for it is a double-
edged sword. There is darkness,
misery, and blood-crying pain aplenty
in this cave. Solitude is a
gift to be used wisely for
it is also a prison. High
in the hills awaits the
Gift of pain and prison
of Solitude

Bridge of Victory

The Bridge of Victory

As I cross the bridge to
escape the darkness that
entraps me in a land that
I loathe, the bridge creeks
and moans its protest.
With tears sweeping down
my face and blood-stained
hands I inch ever closer
to the light and victory.
Pain, depression, and anxiety
want to trap me in this
land of darkness. I want to
surrender to the darkness,
but lo the light is ever
so close I can’t give up
my chance of victory. The
land of darkness tries
to twist the bridge
and make me tumble, but
I hold on for the I feel
the light of hope getting
ever closer! I will cross
this bridge of despair and it
will become my bridge of victory!

A Night Visit

I just got back from an adventure of serendipity. Tonight I went to Gulf Beach in Milford Connecticut. The surf was a little rough but it was still a few hours of serenity. It is amazing what a little time listening to the ocean does for one’s mental health. I highly recommend it to anyone. Continue reading

Happy Thanksgiving

O eternal God,
who crownest the year with thy goodness
and dost give us the fruits of the earth in their season:
give us grace that we may use them to thy glory,
for the relief of those in need and for our own well-being;
through Jesus Christ thy Son our Lord,
who liveth and reigneth with thee,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever. AMEN
Happiest of Thanksgiving from my table to yours.  May your days be blessed and may you always count your blessings over your sorrows!

Just a minor update

Greetings one and all.  Again I must apologize for my lack of updating here.  I’m still having some struggles with my health and the doctors are trying to address it, but with this seemingly endless pandemic it seems like I’m getting no where fast.  I am surprised I logged into write this update and WordPress notified me that today is the sixth anniversary of my blog. Six years here at Padre’s Study…where has the time gone?

Continue reading

Health Update

I absolutely love my new PCP and neurologist!

My PCP is retired Navy and actually listens. Doc is slowly trying to undo something’s and investigate others. He really understands the pain I’m in and is trying to get it manageable.

My neurologist is great, I meet him today. He increased my Keppra and changed my migraine medication. He believes I’m having seizures because I’m actually having mini strokes. I have an EEG on Friday.

Why I Posh

My darling sister works hard both in studying for her college degree, taking care of her children but also educating people on the products of Posh and how to properly care for your skin.

my adventures as a mom

Why am I reblogging about skincare from Perfectly Posh? Why am I writing about Posh so much? Being a part of the Perfectly Posh team, Team Poshtopia means I can stay home and concentrate on my school while taking care of my kids. It means that I’m available if my son is having a rough day at school and if either of my kids is sick. It means I don’t have to call out of work or leave early. Things are tough for kids these days. I enjoy being there for them. I enjoy the fact that my daughter can be a girly girl and not put harsh chemicals on her face at 8 years old. It means I can teach her young how to care for herself.  It means my son with environmental/seasonal allergies can also use the products. He can also learn to take care of himself and…

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H(Cr)appy holidays

Please stop by and visit my dear brother Martin’s 2018 year post.

Mavadelo's mindscape

Hello my friends and followers

Here I am after a long time, wanting to give you all an update on my life.

as you know my wife is disabled, This started about 15 years ago and until about a year ago this was a stable situation. Although things didn’t improve, they didn’t go worse either. Well… that changed dramatically. Last winter and spring Lijda got more pain in places she never had them. Her joints mostly but also stomach and headaches. We kind of brushed it of as a flu type of thing and carried on as always. Then suddenly around June Lijda woke up one morning asking if I could help her to the toilet. I was unable, there was not a single muscle working in her body and most worrying of all, she was bloody hot and I am not talking looks.


So I called an ambulance. When…

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I’m Sorry…

My dear readers I’ve been feeling like I’ve let y’all down this past couple of months, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Truth be told I’ve been in to much pain to type. However I think I found a solution. I’m thinking of doing a podcast for the blog. What I need from you are topics you’d like me to talk about.